Gutless Literally Continuation...

I was only supposed to stay at the hospital for 5 days but some complications came up and I ended up staying 11 days. I left the hospital on July 18,2014 for the first time. I was put on TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) which is basically food going through my vein it's to treat or prevent malnutrition and since I had gone through a tough surgery they wanted to prevent anymore damage. I was put on a liquid diet for a little while you'll have to excuse my memory it's been bad after surgery and it wasn't a good one to start with but anyways after a while I was able to eat more and since I was on that nutrition and eating normal I gained more weight I was almost to my desired weight that I had always wanted.

Then came the day I felt such a great pain in my abdomen it was as if someone kept stabbing me with a knife, my mom tried everything to help from tea to a hot tortilla. I knew something was wrong so I decided to call the hospital and they transferred me to my team of doctors, the only problem was that it was July 25th which here in utah is Pioneer Day and everything was closed. I was overwhelmed because they told me they were going to try to reach my doctor. An hour passed and I received a call from the hospital and they told me that the emergency room would be waiting for me. So we went right away all the way to the University of Utah which was 40 minutes away. When I got there I could barely walk and talk so I let them know everything and they immediately took me into a room and took my vitals my temperature was really high and my heart rate was in the higher ranges which it normally was but it was even more.

They started an IV line and hooked me up to the liquids they normally put you on to treat the pain. My pain slowly started to go down but it was just a mask. I was supposed to drink this horrible liquid in order to get a CT scan a procedure I knew too well. I drank half of it since I couldn't keep anything down so then they took me to get the CT scan and they told me they would wait for the results in order to move me to a room. It took about 2 hours to get the results it looked like an abscess which is an accumulation of pus. I was moved into another room now at the Huntsman Institute, I went on a wheelchair through the secret path of the nurses and doctors it was so cold at times since we were going through the basement or whatever that path was ha. We arrived at the institute and the last time I was there it was full with patients and nurses but this time it was so quiet and almost empty. I guess that was normal since it was a holiday.

I was hooked unto the vital machines there and I was feeling okay but then I started shaking at first I thought it was because I was cold so the nurse brought me a warm blanket but then it started getting worse, it was so bad that my mouth was getting sore from shaking. I kept telling my mom that I was scared it just wasn't going to stop. The nurse kept checking me and this time she took my temperature and she looked concerned she said she would be back and then another nurse came in I recognized her she was my favorite nurse she said " Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" I replied with "I'm cold, can I get a blanket?" "If I get you another blanket you're fever is just going to get worse, but I'm going to get help so we can get you feeling better okay." she said. I laid there shaking and then they started grabbing towels, ice and water. It was all a blur then but I guess from what my mom told me my heart rate had gone up to 160 which is tachycardic and all the nurses on that floor were trying to get my fever down since it was at 102 degrees fahrenheit. I didn't feel anything I felt numb I guess that was the way my body coped with all this pain and trauma, they then called the cardiologist and some x ray experts and some other doctors that were specialists for who knows what but it was about 8 of them and I turned and looked at my mom and she was crying but she was staying strong and telling me that everything would be alright. I was hooked up unto a machine which looked at my heart and they told me that my heart was very strong for how petite I was. They gave me some pain meds and then determined it would be best to be moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) where they could monitor me 24hrs.

I felt so scared because I could have died that day....but Heavenly Father is amazing! I realized that life is so precious and that my family is my world. I stayed there for a few days and a drain was put in to get rid of the abscess and then I was moved to a regular room and my family would take turns in spending the nights. I had bittersweet feelings about the hospital, bitter because I really disliked being away from my family and I didn't like that I made their life complicated. Sweet because that's where my family became very strong, and my faith became even stronger. I remember one night we picked a movie to watch from the ones in the hallway that you can borrow, we picked A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) I remember at the end we were all bawling and hugging each other. If you haven't watched that movie I highly recommend it. Those days in the hospital made me such a stronger person. I had my ups and downs blaming myself or asking why but then I remembered how much stronger I was as a person and that it brought me closer to God.

I think trials are brought in our life to make us more humble and stronger. I share this so others can relate to me, so we can talk about our trials and not feel ashamed or in pain anymore. I share it because I know we all go through our own personal trials no matter how small or big they are, they all shape our life and our faith. Although this may seem like the biggest trial in my life I know forsure that it will not be the last one but I now know that I can handle whatever comes my way if I trust in Heavenly Father. So have Faith in whatever you believe but just know things will get better.

Remember:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

-Isaiah 43:2